Conquering the Con of Condemnation (Part 4 of 5)

5)    Embracing the Father’s love: At some point in the battle against condemnation we have to address the primary issue: fear.  Condemnation is a tactic based on fear—the fear of divine rejection and/or divine displeasure.  The lie centers on the idea that we are so bad that not even God can love us anymore.   Obviously, when you analyze this lie systematically it looses all credibility.   Why would God’s love towards as believers suddenly cease because of past mistakes?  This makes no sense in light of the consistent testimony of the Scriptures that “while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.”  Jesus died for us when we were at our worst.  He loved us when we were dead spiritually speaking.

His sacrificial death on the cross isn’t based on anything that we have done or anything that would could merit.  It is because of His great love towards us! And this love was demonstrated before we were even born! His love is lavished on humanity independent of our response to it.  Obviously, we must embrace this love through some very specific instructions found in the Word: repentance through faith.   In that moment His love becomes more than a theological fact; it becomes an experiential one that transforms our life.   The amazing thing about the love of God is that according to John: “it casts out all fear. (I John 4:18)”  One translation says that it “expels” fear.  As we embrace His love fear is chased out of our hearts—as already stated this is make-up of condemnation.  Without fear, condemnation vanishes.  If God really isn’t mad at me why should I be mad at myself? If He isn’t condemning me why should I condemn myself? 

The story of the Prodigal Son if so beautiful in this process of helping our wounded hearts understand the love of God.  The Prodigal wakes up smelling like a pig.  He lived a swine’s life having run from the safety and love of his father’s household.  In that moment, he knew he had to return, but under different pretenses that before.  This time around he would be a servant not a son.  He would punish himself for his wickedness.  For surely, his father could never tolerate him again.  As he returns home the father sees him coming and takes off running in his direction. While the son tries to wallow in his self condemnation, the father doesn’t even give him the time of day.  He orders the best ring, the best robe, the best sandals, and a fattened calf killed for a party.  What a picture of extravagant love in the face of condemnation.   The most powerful way to overcome condemnation is to sit in the love of God and let Him so captivate your heart with His goodness and kindness that you  simply can’t afford to wallow in self pity any longer.  His love casts out the fear and your heart will soon be at rest. 

6)    Get rid of the source of condemnation:  Up to this point we’ve talked about external issues related to condemnation.  Let’s talk about some internal ones now.   This is of extreme importance in overcoming condemnation. Basically, we all have vulnerable places in our hearts that the enemy exploits.  It’s kind of like a scab over a wound.  Pick at it long enough and it will bleed.  Once it starts bleeding, it gets messy.  Likewise, as it relates to areas of in our lives.  We are forgiven in Christ, but often the temptation to go back to it again presents itself again and again and again.  The reason is because the devil is trying to pick at our wounds.  Once they start bleeding, WHAM, here comes the condemnation thick and heavy. 

I don’t know what your wound is where the enemy tries to assault you: over-eating, smoking, deception, lust, alcohol, pornography, etc..  The list is limitless.  What I’ve learned is identify the issue and then take steps to make sure that you don’t revisit it.  Obviously, I could write an entire series on how to overcome hidden sins and maybe one day I will.  For now, the idea I want to communicate is this: if you steal the enemy’s ammunition for condemnation from him, it makes it much more difficult for him to condemn you.  I know, it’s not rocket science. 

The verse that has helped me tremendously along these lines is Romans 8:1.  “Now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus who walk not according to the lusts of the flesh, but according to the Spirit.”  I've heard several Christians quote this verse leaving out the last part.  "There's no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus."  Only problem? that's now what the verse says.  You can be a Christian and be controlled by the lusts of your flesh and I promise you condemnation will just be one of your many problems.   The key is learning to walk in the Spirit by putting to death the desires of the flesh through the cross.  Again, a potential discussion for another article.  Let's be clear: it is possible to walk with no condemnation as we learn to walk with the Spirit by staying away from the lusts of the flesh.  As we implement this approach, the enemy has nothing to accuse us with. 

Let me also mention here the difference between condemnation and conviction.  If you are a Christian involved in sin (gratifying the lusts of the flesh to use Romans 8:1 terminology), then  Holy Spirit has a very clear role in your life—to convict you because He loves you.  If this is you, the best approach is to repent and turn from your sin, the real definition of repentance.  In other words, don’t get the two mixed up. One comes from hell, the other from heaven. One is life-sucking, the other life-giving.  One pulls you closer to Jesus, the other further away.   Conviction is wonderful even though it may be painful in the moment.  Condemnation is oppressive both in this moment as well as in the next.   Conviction is like a doctor searching for a sickness.  He pushes on and says, "does it hurt here?"  You wouldn't scream at him and say, "You quack what are you doing?"  Rather, you would thank him for being thorough in his investigations to help you heal.  Conviction is just the Holy Spirit poking us where it hurts because He wants us whole 

Conquering the Con of Condemnation (Part 3 of 5)

3)    Confronting the enemy: During the battle of condemnation the enemy of our souls will assault our position in Christ.  The Word is clear:  we are sons and daughters in the family of God through the blood of Jesus.  Romans 8 elaborates this idea revealing to us the full force of who we are; we are heirs and co-heirs, recipients of the Spirit, dearly loved, free from sin, adopted into His family, etc…   This is all related to our new position in Christ once we are born again.  Many believers don’t realize who they really are in Christ, but every now and again we get a glimpse.  It’s so transforming and so liberating when these concepts go from our head to our heart.  Transformational Christianity is a threat to the devil. So he retaliates with condemnation.  “You’re not a son. You’re no heir.  You have no inheritance in the promises.  You are a failure. You are a looser.  Give up.” 

Instead of believing these lies and submitting to this barrage, I’ve learned a different approach: confrontation. This involves getting aggressive.   The best way to do this is to replace the lies of hell with truth.  Obviously, this means you need to have a few clear promises in your spiritual armory that you can pull out in the thick of battle.  Do you remember when Jesus was being tempted in the wilderness?  He didn’t fire back at the enemy by asserting his authority.  Rather, he knew the word and would respond, “It is written.”  Similarly, I’ve learned to throw the truth of the Word back in the enemy’s face when he assaults me.   I’ve had many conversations with myself that people would probably label as craziness.  However, I’ve found that the real power of the Word is when it’s spoken, not just quietly read.  We must be intentional about speaking it out loud.  I sometimes will look at myself in the mirror and speak forth the promises in God’s Word substituting my name for the generic “you”.   For example, I often quote 2 Corinthians 5:21 saying, “Stephen Kuert, you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus” when the enemy is hounding me. 

Remember that this is spiritual warfare! And the victory belongs to the person with the strongest weapons.  I’m grateful that Christ’s voice of truth found in His Word always triumphs over the enemy’s voice of condemnation.  So use the Word as your weapon in this battle!

Another key element of confrontation is turning the accusations of the enemy around.  The Bible shows the enemy in several different places accusing the saints of past sins, failures, and short-comings.  This is his specialty—dragging up the past so that we forget our present status in Jesus, and in so doing we get our eyes off of our future.  Obviously, his lies of accusation are quite effective.  So I like to turn the tables on his little con, by reminding him of his future when he tries to bring up my past.  This has been really effective in my life.  It’s funny how quickly the lies of darkness evaporate when you start talking about the future judgment of wickedness.   Whether there’s really an element of spiritual warfare involved in reminding the devil of his future judgment or if it just reminds me of my ultimate destiny in Christ and therefore, causes my faith to be jumpstarted, I don’t really know.  What I can tell you is that it’s an effective means of overcoming condemnation.  Accuse the accuser with the truth of God’s word.  Turn the tables on this trick!

4) Recognizing the reason for  condemnation: Here’s another quick thought that has always helped me with this idea of condemnation.  The enemy knows our real destiny and Kingdom identity in Christ Jesus.  That is why he tries to stop  us cold in our tracks.  He fears the revelation of the sons and daughters of God in this hour—people who know who they are and what they are called to do in the Kingdom.  So out comes condemnation.  It occurred to me one day that the enemy only messes with people who he fears.  Mark this well: If Jesus Christ, the Son of God, is really living in your heart by his Holy Spirit, then you are a THREAT to purpose and plan of the kingdom of darkness.  So here are some questions to ask the next time the big con comes your way.  Why am I feeling so condemned right now?  Why is the enemy going to all the trouble to confuse me?  What is it in my life right now that he is trying to stop? 

 I remember when I used to play basketball.  My coach would often assign me to the best offensive player on the opposing team.  I was really fast and had sheer tenacity.  Other players often got frustrated from my defense. I followed them around like a dog on a scent.  Offensively, I was pretty weak, but that didn’t matter.  My assignment was to keep the other team from scoring not be a superstar.  It’s funny to see a really good basketball player who isn’t used to being hounded.  Psychologically, they often check out and even though they are the best player out there they soon take themselves out of the game because they aren’t used to being hounded.   Listen, if you have attracted some really tough condemnation defense, it’s because you are a genuine threat. So be encouraged and keep your head in the game! 

Conquering the Con of Condemnation (Part 2 of 5)

1) The Power of Confession:  I will never forget sitting on the bed with my mom as a little boy.  We lived in Kenya. It was one of the first times that I had experienced the con of condemnation.  The lies of darkness raced through my mind.  My mom listened to my heavy heart and then directed me to what has become one of my favorite verses in the Word—I John 1:9.  “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” The emphasis of this promise centers on the faithfulness of Christ.   Since that time I have learned the power of confession both vertically and horizontally. The con of condemnation looses its hold when confession takes place.  Confessing our sins and transgressions before the Lord snaps the power of condemnation as our hearts grasp the fullness of His faithfulness.  He not only forgives, but He also cleanses us from the shame and guilt that the sin left in its wake.   Another key element here is confession to other believers.  

Obviously, we need to be selective whom we include in this process.  People who are mature and stable in the Lord are essential.  Mentors, pastors, and accountability partners are a good idea.  The power of condemnation breaks when we confess to others.  This is exactly what James talks about in chapter 5 where he says we should confess our sins to one another so that we may be healed.   I will never forget a conversation with two of my best friends in college. They could tell I was struggling with heaviness and guilt.  I opened up and shared things I had never told anyone except my mom.  Pow! The shackle of condemnation disintegrated as they prayed for me.   I can’t overestimate the power of confessing to safe people in your life.  It takes courage! The enemy will fight you with all kinds of mental attacks: “They won’t understand.  They will share your dirty secrets with others.  You will loose all credibility, etc…”   Remember, that taking that step of faith is a step of obedience and humility that breaks the pride in our lives of what other people think.  God will reward us with fresh measures of His grace to overcome condemnation. 

      2) The Power of the Cross: After reading the first principle, you may be thinking, “Yes, but I have confessed….and confessed…and confessed….and I still feel guilty.   It hasn’t worked for me.  What should I do?”   This is one of the greatest tactics the enemy uses.  He works overtime to try to invalidate the promises of God.  If a believer confesses, but still feels condemned, then this nullifies the word of God right?  Wrong.  I learned in Eastern Africa  that the Word doesn’t depend on my feelings.  Rather, my feelings must learn to depend on His Word.  If you still feel condemned even after confessing your sin, then you need to confess again.  BUT THIS TIME, you need to confess that you have doubted the power of His blood and the promise of His Word.   As we focus on the cross and the sacrifice that Christ paid for our sins we realize the magnitude and glory of this glorious gift to humanity.  We stop focusing on ourselves and our own inadequacies and start focusing on His adequacy.  His worthiness.  And His perfect sacrifice.  

I found that as I became intentional to study the cross of Christ and appropriate its promises in my life, I began to understand that my feelings were part of the con or trick the enemy was trying to use against me to keep me in bondage.  The enemy is a master deceiver and liar.  The blood of Christ isn’t nullified because of his deception in my life.  I will never forget the joy of learning that His blood was more powerful than my feelings. I John 3:19-20 talks about this:  “By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.”  Yes, God is greater than my feelings that condemn my heart and the enemy’s lies that sully my soul with heaviness.

 Focus on the cross.  Focus on the perfect love of God revealed there.  Focus on the sacrifice of life there.   Then ask yourself why He had to suffer as a criminal?  The answer is because of sin and the results of sin such as condemnation.  I don’t mean generally, but specifically in my life;  my sins and my condemnation.  Then hear His voice speaking from the cross.  “If YOU (fill in your name) confess your sins, I am faithful and just to forgive you your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness.”    Then see the resurrection.  Remember that Jesus is no longer on the cross. He rose from the dead three days later and ascended to heaven to assume His rightful place of glory.  In other words, this isn’t empty talk.  He not only offers the promise, but also has demonstrated the power necessary to make good on His word.   

Conquering the Con of Condemnation (Part 1 of 5)

            A dear African friend recently inboxed me on FaceBook to share his current spiritual battle. He wanted advice on what to do.  As I read his note, my heart was moved by his sincerity as well as by the depth of his despair.  I have served as a mentor figure for this dear brother for the past couple of years.  He is one of the most sincere, integrous, and pure-hearted people I know. He loves Jesus deeply.  Yet, the enemy has been systematically undermining his spiritual confidence through one of his favorite attacks—condemnation. 

            As I thought about this note to me, I was reminded of the fact that this spiritual weapon is not exclusively an African issue.  I Peter 5:9 reminds us that we need to resist the enemy of our souls because our brothers across the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.   I think at times we think that the enemy of our souls is uniquely singling us out with our particular struggle.  This is one of his favorite tactics to use against us: isolation and alienation.   His lies are very persuasive making us retreat to into our spiritual corners of shame. 

The problem with a retreat mentality is that we cut ourselves off from other believers—who represent the Body of Christ.  We fear their ridicule if we share our struggles.  We suspect others are perfect and wouldn’t understand our battle.  In so doing, we effectively eliminate one of God’s primary ways of helping us in time of need: His hands and feet on the earth. 

As I read my friend’s note I felt a stirring in my spirit to write.  I know that he is not the only believer being fed this lie from the darkness. Many of my friends across East Africa and America are experiencing the same kind of onslaught.  They are being condemned with fury to keep them from reaching their destiny in Christ.   It’s a con concocted by the master conman, satan.   A con can be defined as a trick to deceive someone.  In this case, the trick is condemnation to stop believers dead in their tracks.

In my life I have battled this trick many times.  It is one that the master deceiver has used on me with great effect. When I first moved to Central Africa I would be invited to speak in places such as Rumonge, Nyanza Lac, Ruziba, Gatumba, Kinanira, etc… Yes, they are real places.  The primary weapon the enemy used against me was condemnation. I remember one day in particular, a Sunday morning. I am driving towards Kigwena on a pot-holed road battling the most intense feelings of condemnation I’ve ever felt.  The script playing out in my head is all too familiar. “Who do you think you are? I know your thoughts.  You aren’t worthy to be a missionary. You’re the biggest sinner on the planet.  You call yourself a Christian?  God will never use you.  Who would listen to you? You big hypocrite.” 

I changed my whole message in the two-hour car ride and shared a word on how to overcome condemnation.  Many people’s lives were impacted that day and several responded to the invitation to make Christ their Lord and Savior.  There’s something very powerful about hope to conquer this lie.   This week I would like to talk about how to overcome the enemy’s con called condemnation.  Yes it is possible.  No, you are not alone in this battle.  

How to Survive a Toxic Ministry Situation (Part 7 of 7)

14)    Embrace Silence: Finally, don’t be afraid of silence. I used to dread it.  The emotional wounds of my toxic scenario caused a continual thirst for noise.   This meant that I always had to be doing something, going somewhere, hanging around other people, have the radio/TV on, music, FaceBook, etc....   Anything and everything to keep me from focusing on what was going on inside my heart.  If I could be distracted I knew I wouldn’t have to deal with the issues in my heart.  This is never healthy.   Embracing silence is essential in the healing process.  A safe place to heal will always include this element (see principle #13).   This is the language that God uses to talk to the heart.  When our surroundings finally become still God will speak clearly and directly to our souls.  In cultivating stillness we find the peace of God again.  

I can't overemphasize how important the peace of God is in the healing process.  Obviously, scripture is very clear on this point too.  Philippians 4 develops this thought to include peace as protection for the heart and mind.  Obviously, there is a direct connection between the peace of God and emotional stability.   Peace soon produces tranquility and the overall sense of Shalaom. In short, peace is the empire or referee of the soul. It determines what is allowed in and out of the heart.   Find someone in emotional turmoil and invariably you will find someone who has lost touch with God's peace.  

The other great thing about peace is that it is the element necessary for hearing God's voice.  Until peace is restored to our emotions it is almost impossible to hear God's voice clearly.  Practice peace, the Shalaom of God and you will be well on your way to finding God's voice.  And when His voice speaks, the process for healing will be well underway.  

In my case, I had an apartment on the eighth floor of a rather large building. I would turn on two fans in the living room to drown out all ambient noise and lay on my facing listening for the heartbeat of heaven.  In the silence I found myself again. And more importantly, I found Him again.  God’s voice reminded me of my calling, purpose, identity, and destiny.  I spent many hours on the living room floor recovering from the toxins in my soul.  The good news is that God totally healed me.  If He did it for me, He will do it for you.  You don't have to be another victim of a toxic ministry situation.  You can be a victor, an overcomer, used mightily of God to minister to other people walking through similar situations.  

How to Survive a Toxic Ministry Situation (Part 6 of 7)

12)    Be honest and ask questions:  One of the primary means of healing from toxicity is total honesty with the Lord and with ourselves.  This involves openness concerning our feelings, fears, expectations, and disappointments. One of the best ways to do this is writing in a journal and having open conversations with the Lord.  Be transparent and be specific.  People have wronged you.  This is obvious.  What takes a little more transparency is to admit that there are  areas where we have responded or even retaliated with less than Christ-like behavior.   Often the Lord will ask us to take the first step toward making this right.  This is the genesis of reconciliation— this may include writing a letter, making a phone call, or sending an email in which we acknowledge our role in the situation, even though it may be minor.  Own your part, even if it’s 5% of less, and God will take care of the other 95%.

I have heard many people say that God never answers a why question for them.  From my perspective I think this is because they have never asked the where question and the what question.  Once we actively engage in the forgiveness process (see principle #11), God will give glorious perspective into what has transpired. What do I mean?  Ask God where He was in the situation and what you can learn from the situation.  I found that in being honest and asking these questions before the Lord, He shows me things that release healing.

 I ask to relieve the memory from His perspective showing me where He was in the midst of what transpired.  Seeing Jesus in these painful moments with pain etched on His face, or with His arms embracing my wounded heart, or preventing far worse scenarios from developing has brought me enormous comfort.  In answering the where and what questions I have almost always received answers to the why questions.  In my most recent toxic scenario, I felt Him whisper to my heart very clearly, “because I want you to know a small portion of the pain your generation is walking through.”  It’s never easy. It’s never pleasurable. It is rewarding, however, to make our hearts vulnerable to God’s leading so that we can become capable of ministering to others. 

13)    Find a place to heal: Find a safe place to heal.  Eagles retreat to their lofty nests to nurse their wounds until they are strong enough to fly again.  In that high place they are safe from other predators.  Likewise, you need a place to heal.  For me, oddly enough, it looked like accepting the pastorate of a church full of broken and wounded people. I could be myself.  I shared my struggles and hurts.  God soon used my messages of transparency, hope, and courage in the face of pain to set many other people free.  

For you it may be, a church body, a small group, several close friends, your family, or an accountability partner.  Whatever the case, find a place where you can let down your guard, take off your armor, and have your wounds washed.  Look for people who genuinely love you, affirm you, encourage you, and celebrate you.  Yet, don’t put demands on you to process, dialogue, and open up every time you are together.  They say that wounded male lions will often just sit and look at each other.  Somehow they have found solace and courage in just being together.   When you find this place do all that you can to protect it. 

 In this place, God will speak new words of life and destiny over you.  At first it may seem to be completely unattainable and a very distant possibility.  Don't despise the prophetic Word of the Lord.  It's these small whispers in the place of healing that soon give our heart the courage to go forward with His calling. Remember Elijah? He journeyed into the desert for 40 days searching for the Lord in a very toxic ministry situation.  He thought God would be in the fire or in the earthquake.  But He wasn't.  Only in the still small whisper did he find God's direction.   You will have to fight your heart to receive these words as the clamor of injustice and pain will try to drown it out.  Be steady and diligent to cultivate the promises of His specific Word for you.  Soon you will find courage to believe them.  And God will move you forward.  

How to Survive a Toxic Ministry Situation (Part 5 of 7)

10)    Minister to others:  As counter-intuitive as this may sound, find other people who need ministry.  Obviously, we have to be careful not to dump our spiritual garbage on them as this will never benefit anyone. Having said that, the tendency is to completely retreat during times of vulnerability.  We need the separation that retreat creates, but we can never become spiritual hermits.   I found that in my most broken moments the Lord brought equally broken people into my life for a very specific purpose.  

 At first it was almost comical. I would cry out for God’s healing in my heart only to meet someone with an equally painful past.  I thought the Lord had lost track of what I was going through.  Surely, I needed someone stable and mature to cross my path able to offer me some much needed help.   Instead, He sent me some of the most broken people I’ve ever encountered.  As I became intentional to listen to their stories sharing my understanding of God’s Word and character, God began using my brokenness and pain to heal others wounds.  I found that people were just looking for someone to listen to them  and love them through their pain.  Amazingly, many of these people are still dear friends and prayer partners several years later.   God healed their hearts through my life.   Much like David and the Mighty men, the bonds of loyalty and spiritual comradery forged during such moments run deep.  Look for other people who will benefit from the spiritual lessons that you are learning during this time.    It will help you see God's purposes in your pain.     

11)    Experience Forgiveness:  Yes, you knew it was coming sooner or later.  Forgiveness is the very fiber that holds Christianity together.  Without it everything soon unravels.  Forgive as Christ forgave you.   This involves three different levels.  We have to forgive others for the wrongs they have inflicted. This is easier said that done.  Remember that the other person probably hasn’t repented from what they have done.  There may be no change in their behavior or attitude.  And they may not even be aware that they have hurt you.   Yet, we still have an obligation to forgive them.    Five simple principles shared at a recent conference articulate many of the principles that have helped me in my journey:

a.     Forgiveness is a command not an option (Matt. 6:12-15)

b.     Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling (Matt. 18.32-35)

c.     Forgiveness is for your benefit not the benefit of the offender (Lk. 23:34)

d.     Forgiveness must be specific not general (Matt 5:23-24)

e.     Forgiveness is a process not an event (Matt. 18:21)

Secondly, we have to forgive God for the perceived injustice of the situation.  I don’t mean that God has done any wrong.  He is perfect.  Our perceptions and expectations of what He should and shouldn’t allow, however, will certainly be affected.  This will invariably create barriers in our relationship with Him.    We must be intentional about letting these issues go by grappling with our emotional reality instead of concealing it.  Prayer is essential in this regard.    Prayers of relinquishment are essential.  To relinquish is to release a tight hold on something.   So relinquish the deep-seated sentiment to God.  Here is a good model prayer:  “Lord, I don’t understand why you allowed this happen, but I choose to trust you and ask you to forgive me for all bitterness and anger I have harbored in my heart against you.  I give this situation to you now by faith.”  Point number 5 from above is essential here: this is a process not a one-time event.  

And thirdly, we have to forgive ourselves for naivety and manipulation issues.   When I realized how furious I was at myself for not picking up on the cues sooner, for being overly trusting, and for allowing myself to be hurt, I had to become very aggressive in dealing with this third area. At first I was in denial that I could be angry at myself, but it sure explained a lot of my negative emotions.   I find that many people battle self-hatred after walking through toxic times.  I certainly did.   This all goes back to the underlying need for forgiveness by being at peace with yourself.  

Finally, forgiveness doesn’t mean that the other person has been absolved of all responsibility.  It means that instead of us bearing the burden of retaliation, God now owns the situation. God will deal with the other person, especially if they claim to be a believer or spiritual leader.  I have seen it time and time again. It may take months, years, or even decades, but ultimately the God of the whole universe shall do right.  He will convict, correct, chastise, and conform for the glorious purpose of reconciliation.   What forgiveness does mean is freedom to continue living life without the shadow of something sinister continuously lurking over our souls.  

I chose to forgive those who had wronged me, release my anger towards God, and towards myself.  I can assure you that I didn't feel like doing it, but slowly, my heart moved into a place where it cooperated with my will.  Forgiveness gave me momentum to pursue total healing.  And it will for you too!