Conquering the Con of Condemnation (Part 2 of 5)

1) The Power of Confession:  I will never forget sitting on the bed with my mom as a little boy.  We lived in Kenya. It was one of the first times that I had experienced the con of condemnation.  The lies of darkness raced through my mind.  My mom listened to my heavy heart and then directed me to what has become one of my favorite verses in the Word—I John 1:9.  “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” The emphasis of this promise centers on the faithfulness of Christ.   Since that time I have learned the power of confession both vertically and horizontally. The con of condemnation looses its hold when confession takes place.  Confessing our sins and transgressions before the Lord snaps the power of condemnation as our hearts grasp the fullness of His faithfulness.  He not only forgives, but He also cleanses us from the shame and guilt that the sin left in its wake.   Another key element here is confession to other believers.  

Obviously, we need to be selective whom we include in this process.  People who are mature and stable in the Lord are essential.  Mentors, pastors, and accountability partners are a good idea.  The power of condemnation breaks when we confess to others.  This is exactly what James talks about in chapter 5 where he says we should confess our sins to one another so that we may be healed.   I will never forget a conversation with two of my best friends in college. They could tell I was struggling with heaviness and guilt.  I opened up and shared things I had never told anyone except my mom.  Pow! The shackle of condemnation disintegrated as they prayed for me.   I can’t overestimate the power of confessing to safe people in your life.  It takes courage! The enemy will fight you with all kinds of mental attacks: “They won’t understand.  They will share your dirty secrets with others.  You will loose all credibility, etc…”   Remember, that taking that step of faith is a step of obedience and humility that breaks the pride in our lives of what other people think.  God will reward us with fresh measures of His grace to overcome condemnation. 

      2) The Power of the Cross: After reading the first principle, you may be thinking, “Yes, but I have confessed….and confessed…and confessed….and I still feel guilty.   It hasn’t worked for me.  What should I do?”   This is one of the greatest tactics the enemy uses.  He works overtime to try to invalidate the promises of God.  If a believer confesses, but still feels condemned, then this nullifies the word of God right?  Wrong.  I learned in Eastern Africa  that the Word doesn’t depend on my feelings.  Rather, my feelings must learn to depend on His Word.  If you still feel condemned even after confessing your sin, then you need to confess again.  BUT THIS TIME, you need to confess that you have doubted the power of His blood and the promise of His Word.   As we focus on the cross and the sacrifice that Christ paid for our sins we realize the magnitude and glory of this glorious gift to humanity.  We stop focusing on ourselves and our own inadequacies and start focusing on His adequacy.  His worthiness.  And His perfect sacrifice.  

I found that as I became intentional to study the cross of Christ and appropriate its promises in my life, I began to understand that my feelings were part of the con or trick the enemy was trying to use against me to keep me in bondage.  The enemy is a master deceiver and liar.  The blood of Christ isn’t nullified because of his deception in my life.  I will never forget the joy of learning that His blood was more powerful than my feelings. I John 3:19-20 talks about this:  “By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.”  Yes, God is greater than my feelings that condemn my heart and the enemy’s lies that sully my soul with heaviness.

 Focus on the cross.  Focus on the perfect love of God revealed there.  Focus on the sacrifice of life there.   Then ask yourself why He had to suffer as a criminal?  The answer is because of sin and the results of sin such as condemnation.  I don’t mean generally, but specifically in my life;  my sins and my condemnation.  Then hear His voice speaking from the cross.  “If YOU (fill in your name) confess your sins, I am faithful and just to forgive you your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness.”    Then see the resurrection.  Remember that Jesus is no longer on the cross. He rose from the dead three days later and ascended to heaven to assume His rightful place of glory.  In other words, this isn’t empty talk.  He not only offers the promise, but also has demonstrated the power necessary to make good on His word.   

Conquering the Con of Condemnation (Part 1 of 5)

            A dear African friend recently inboxed me on FaceBook to share his current spiritual battle. He wanted advice on what to do.  As I read his note, my heart was moved by his sincerity as well as by the depth of his despair.  I have served as a mentor figure for this dear brother for the past couple of years.  He is one of the most sincere, integrous, and pure-hearted people I know. He loves Jesus deeply.  Yet, the enemy has been systematically undermining his spiritual confidence through one of his favorite attacks—condemnation. 

            As I thought about this note to me, I was reminded of the fact that this spiritual weapon is not exclusively an African issue.  I Peter 5:9 reminds us that we need to resist the enemy of our souls because our brothers across the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.   I think at times we think that the enemy of our souls is uniquely singling us out with our particular struggle.  This is one of his favorite tactics to use against us: isolation and alienation.   His lies are very persuasive making us retreat to into our spiritual corners of shame. 

The problem with a retreat mentality is that we cut ourselves off from other believers—who represent the Body of Christ.  We fear their ridicule if we share our struggles.  We suspect others are perfect and wouldn’t understand our battle.  In so doing, we effectively eliminate one of God’s primary ways of helping us in time of need: His hands and feet on the earth. 

As I read my friend’s note I felt a stirring in my spirit to write.  I know that he is not the only believer being fed this lie from the darkness. Many of my friends across East Africa and America are experiencing the same kind of onslaught.  They are being condemned with fury to keep them from reaching their destiny in Christ.   It’s a con concocted by the master conman, satan.   A con can be defined as a trick to deceive someone.  In this case, the trick is condemnation to stop believers dead in their tracks.

In my life I have battled this trick many times.  It is one that the master deceiver has used on me with great effect. When I first moved to Central Africa I would be invited to speak in places such as Rumonge, Nyanza Lac, Ruziba, Gatumba, Kinanira, etc… Yes, they are real places.  The primary weapon the enemy used against me was condemnation. I remember one day in particular, a Sunday morning. I am driving towards Kigwena on a pot-holed road battling the most intense feelings of condemnation I’ve ever felt.  The script playing out in my head is all too familiar. “Who do you think you are? I know your thoughts.  You aren’t worthy to be a missionary. You’re the biggest sinner on the planet.  You call yourself a Christian?  God will never use you.  Who would listen to you? You big hypocrite.” 

I changed my whole message in the two-hour car ride and shared a word on how to overcome condemnation.  Many people’s lives were impacted that day and several responded to the invitation to make Christ their Lord and Savior.  There’s something very powerful about hope to conquer this lie.   This week I would like to talk about how to overcome the enemy’s con called condemnation.  Yes it is possible.  No, you are not alone in this battle.  

How to Survive a Toxic Ministry Situation (Part 7 of 7)

14)    Embrace Silence: Finally, don’t be afraid of silence. I used to dread it.  The emotional wounds of my toxic scenario caused a continual thirst for noise.   This meant that I always had to be doing something, going somewhere, hanging around other people, have the radio/TV on, music, FaceBook, etc....   Anything and everything to keep me from focusing on what was going on inside my heart.  If I could be distracted I knew I wouldn’t have to deal with the issues in my heart.  This is never healthy.   Embracing silence is essential in the healing process.  A safe place to heal will always include this element (see principle #13).   This is the language that God uses to talk to the heart.  When our surroundings finally become still God will speak clearly and directly to our souls.  In cultivating stillness we find the peace of God again.  

I can't overemphasize how important the peace of God is in the healing process.  Obviously, scripture is very clear on this point too.  Philippians 4 develops this thought to include peace as protection for the heart and mind.  Obviously, there is a direct connection between the peace of God and emotional stability.   Peace soon produces tranquility and the overall sense of Shalaom. In short, peace is the empire or referee of the soul. It determines what is allowed in and out of the heart.   Find someone in emotional turmoil and invariably you will find someone who has lost touch with God's peace.  

The other great thing about peace is that it is the element necessary for hearing God's voice.  Until peace is restored to our emotions it is almost impossible to hear God's voice clearly.  Practice peace, the Shalaom of God and you will be well on your way to finding God's voice.  And when His voice speaks, the process for healing will be well underway.  

In my case, I had an apartment on the eighth floor of a rather large building. I would turn on two fans in the living room to drown out all ambient noise and lay on my facing listening for the heartbeat of heaven.  In the silence I found myself again. And more importantly, I found Him again.  God’s voice reminded me of my calling, purpose, identity, and destiny.  I spent many hours on the living room floor recovering from the toxins in my soul.  The good news is that God totally healed me.  If He did it for me, He will do it for you.  You don't have to be another victim of a toxic ministry situation.  You can be a victor, an overcomer, used mightily of God to minister to other people walking through similar situations.  

How to Survive a Toxic Ministry Situation (Part 6 of 7)

12)    Be honest and ask questions:  One of the primary means of healing from toxicity is total honesty with the Lord and with ourselves.  This involves openness concerning our feelings, fears, expectations, and disappointments. One of the best ways to do this is writing in a journal and having open conversations with the Lord.  Be transparent and be specific.  People have wronged you.  This is obvious.  What takes a little more transparency is to admit that there are  areas where we have responded or even retaliated with less than Christ-like behavior.   Often the Lord will ask us to take the first step toward making this right.  This is the genesis of reconciliation— this may include writing a letter, making a phone call, or sending an email in which we acknowledge our role in the situation, even though it may be minor.  Own your part, even if it’s 5% of less, and God will take care of the other 95%.

I have heard many people say that God never answers a why question for them.  From my perspective I think this is because they have never asked the where question and the what question.  Once we actively engage in the forgiveness process (see principle #11), God will give glorious perspective into what has transpired. What do I mean?  Ask God where He was in the situation and what you can learn from the situation.  I found that in being honest and asking these questions before the Lord, He shows me things that release healing.

 I ask to relieve the memory from His perspective showing me where He was in the midst of what transpired.  Seeing Jesus in these painful moments with pain etched on His face, or with His arms embracing my wounded heart, or preventing far worse scenarios from developing has brought me enormous comfort.  In answering the where and what questions I have almost always received answers to the why questions.  In my most recent toxic scenario, I felt Him whisper to my heart very clearly, “because I want you to know a small portion of the pain your generation is walking through.”  It’s never easy. It’s never pleasurable. It is rewarding, however, to make our hearts vulnerable to God’s leading so that we can become capable of ministering to others. 

13)    Find a place to heal: Find a safe place to heal.  Eagles retreat to their lofty nests to nurse their wounds until they are strong enough to fly again.  In that high place they are safe from other predators.  Likewise, you need a place to heal.  For me, oddly enough, it looked like accepting the pastorate of a church full of broken and wounded people. I could be myself.  I shared my struggles and hurts.  God soon used my messages of transparency, hope, and courage in the face of pain to set many other people free.  

For you it may be, a church body, a small group, several close friends, your family, or an accountability partner.  Whatever the case, find a place where you can let down your guard, take off your armor, and have your wounds washed.  Look for people who genuinely love you, affirm you, encourage you, and celebrate you.  Yet, don’t put demands on you to process, dialogue, and open up every time you are together.  They say that wounded male lions will often just sit and look at each other.  Somehow they have found solace and courage in just being together.   When you find this place do all that you can to protect it. 

 In this place, God will speak new words of life and destiny over you.  At first it may seem to be completely unattainable and a very distant possibility.  Don't despise the prophetic Word of the Lord.  It's these small whispers in the place of healing that soon give our heart the courage to go forward with His calling. Remember Elijah? He journeyed into the desert for 40 days searching for the Lord in a very toxic ministry situation.  He thought God would be in the fire or in the earthquake.  But He wasn't.  Only in the still small whisper did he find God's direction.   You will have to fight your heart to receive these words as the clamor of injustice and pain will try to drown it out.  Be steady and diligent to cultivate the promises of His specific Word for you.  Soon you will find courage to believe them.  And God will move you forward.  

How to Survive a Toxic Ministry Situation (Part 5 of 7)

10)    Minister to others:  As counter-intuitive as this may sound, find other people who need ministry.  Obviously, we have to be careful not to dump our spiritual garbage on them as this will never benefit anyone. Having said that, the tendency is to completely retreat during times of vulnerability.  We need the separation that retreat creates, but we can never become spiritual hermits.   I found that in my most broken moments the Lord brought equally broken people into my life for a very specific purpose.  

 At first it was almost comical. I would cry out for God’s healing in my heart only to meet someone with an equally painful past.  I thought the Lord had lost track of what I was going through.  Surely, I needed someone stable and mature to cross my path able to offer me some much needed help.   Instead, He sent me some of the most broken people I’ve ever encountered.  As I became intentional to listen to their stories sharing my understanding of God’s Word and character, God began using my brokenness and pain to heal others wounds.  I found that people were just looking for someone to listen to them  and love them through their pain.  Amazingly, many of these people are still dear friends and prayer partners several years later.   God healed their hearts through my life.   Much like David and the Mighty men, the bonds of loyalty and spiritual comradery forged during such moments run deep.  Look for other people who will benefit from the spiritual lessons that you are learning during this time.    It will help you see God's purposes in your pain.     

11)    Experience Forgiveness:  Yes, you knew it was coming sooner or later.  Forgiveness is the very fiber that holds Christianity together.  Without it everything soon unravels.  Forgive as Christ forgave you.   This involves three different levels.  We have to forgive others for the wrongs they have inflicted. This is easier said that done.  Remember that the other person probably hasn’t repented from what they have done.  There may be no change in their behavior or attitude.  And they may not even be aware that they have hurt you.   Yet, we still have an obligation to forgive them.    Five simple principles shared at a recent conference articulate many of the principles that have helped me in my journey:

a.     Forgiveness is a command not an option (Matt. 6:12-15)

b.     Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling (Matt. 18.32-35)

c.     Forgiveness is for your benefit not the benefit of the offender (Lk. 23:34)

d.     Forgiveness must be specific not general (Matt 5:23-24)

e.     Forgiveness is a process not an event (Matt. 18:21)

Secondly, we have to forgive God for the perceived injustice of the situation.  I don’t mean that God has done any wrong.  He is perfect.  Our perceptions and expectations of what He should and shouldn’t allow, however, will certainly be affected.  This will invariably create barriers in our relationship with Him.    We must be intentional about letting these issues go by grappling with our emotional reality instead of concealing it.  Prayer is essential in this regard.    Prayers of relinquishment are essential.  To relinquish is to release a tight hold on something.   So relinquish the deep-seated sentiment to God.  Here is a good model prayer:  “Lord, I don’t understand why you allowed this happen, but I choose to trust you and ask you to forgive me for all bitterness and anger I have harbored in my heart against you.  I give this situation to you now by faith.”  Point number 5 from above is essential here: this is a process not a one-time event.  

And thirdly, we have to forgive ourselves for naivety and manipulation issues.   When I realized how furious I was at myself for not picking up on the cues sooner, for being overly trusting, and for allowing myself to be hurt, I had to become very aggressive in dealing with this third area. At first I was in denial that I could be angry at myself, but it sure explained a lot of my negative emotions.   I find that many people battle self-hatred after walking through toxic times.  I certainly did.   This all goes back to the underlying need for forgiveness by being at peace with yourself.  

Finally, forgiveness doesn’t mean that the other person has been absolved of all responsibility.  It means that instead of us bearing the burden of retaliation, God now owns the situation. God will deal with the other person, especially if they claim to be a believer or spiritual leader.  I have seen it time and time again. It may take months, years, or even decades, but ultimately the God of the whole universe shall do right.  He will convict, correct, chastise, and conform for the glorious purpose of reconciliation.   What forgiveness does mean is freedom to continue living life without the shadow of something sinister continuously lurking over our souls.  

I chose to forgive those who had wronged me, release my anger towards God, and towards myself.  I can assure you that I didn't feel like doing it, but slowly, my heart moved into a place where it cooperated with my will.  Forgiveness gave me momentum to pursue total healing.  And it will for you too! 

How to Survive a Toxic Ministry Situation (Part 4 of 7)

7)    Find healthy recreational pursuits: The emotional stress during toxic times can be overwhelming.  This takes a toll on every other area of life.  Normal frustrations from daily living can now seem too much to endure.  During my healing process, even minor things like traffic jams and inattentive waiters would cause me to panic and become anxious. Being around people drained my emotional batteries quickly.  It is so important to find healthy releases for this pent up stress.  For me this looked like long runs, swimming, and taking up a new sport—squash.  I would literally sweat out stress. 

 One point of caution--monitor your diet closely during this time.  The temptation will exist to eat sweets and unhealthy fats potentially causing greater physical challenges.  Stress causes adrenal fatigue and often adrenal burnout.  Find a good adrenal supplement like Standard Process Desiccated Adrenal to start taking.   Eat healthy carbs, preferably sprouted ones, like brown rice, quinoa, and, amaranth, lots of veggies—especially the greens such as spinach and kale, and lean proteins like turkey, chicken breast, beans, etc...   Stay away from white-sugar.  It is the enemy of the adrenal glands. Eat healthy fats like coconut oils, real butter, and organic animal fats.  Avoid artificial sweeteners and fake fats like margarine at all costs.  Finally, cut out caffeine during this season.  Coffee is particularly harsh on the adrenal glands.  Drink lots of fresh, distilled, or PH water.  Adding a lemon and even a little pure sea salt helps restore missing electrolytes and does wonders for the adrenals.  

Trust me. You don’t need a physical collapse on top of an emotional one or spiritual one.  I have had both and they nearly did me in.  

8)    Sleep: A trusted friend of mine likes to say, “often the most spiritual thing you can do is sleep.”  As funny as it sounds, this is some of the best advice I’ve ever received.  Sleep is essential for healing the adrenal glands,  detoxing from the toxins released in the body from the stress process, and restoring overall emotional equilibrium.  Consider taking naps during the afternoon if possible to amplify the recovery process.  Find natural sleep supplements to assist this process at night. Things like melatonin, valerian root, and magnesium work wonders. I recommend Standard Process Min-Tran for the magnesium and RiverBend Nutrition’s Anxiet-ease as another great supplement to assist with sleep. Also consider ear plugs, a sleeping mask, and a fan to drown out ambient noise.  I'm not an expert in this field, but I do know from personal experience that stress makes sleep difficult.  So do everything you possibly can to assist your body in finding that sweet spot.  

Learn how to relax an hour or so before going to bed.  When I saw Dr. Don Colbert in Florida a couple of years ago he told me about the importance of breathing in the relaxing process.  Breathe through the diaphragm. Hold your breaths for several long seconds before exhaling.  Force yourself to breathe like this for several minutes, it has a soothing effect.  

9)    Learn. Learn. Learn.  During this time you are going to learn many valuable and even essential things about trust, honesty, forgiveness, stress management, perseverance, friendship, integrity, etc…  Don’t allow this season to become wasted time.  Rather, see it as an opportunity to learn about yourself, God, and others.  I look back on my season with gratitude now.  Not really because I ever want to go through something like that again, but rather because of the incredible insight God released in my life.  As unbelievable as it sounds, toxic ministry situations will cause you to grow in every possible way—for the better.  

Particularly, see this seasons as an opportunity for inverse learning.  By that I mean you are seeing the dangerous side of ministry and Christian leadership; things that should never be repeated or implemented.  I learned hundreds of things NOT to do should I ever find myself in a similar situation in the future.  The principles and lessons I learned during this time have given me a platform to minister to others.  There are plenty of things to learn when you see every situation as an opportunity to develop character.     

How to Survive a Toxic Ministry Situation (Part 3)

5)    Create separation from the event: Be careful not to fall into the trap of victimization.  A victim sees things from only one perspective: violation.  Trust has been violated.  Boundaries have been violated.  Relationship has been violated, etc...  In such moments, it is all too easy to rehash the events that led you to this point from your perspective. The problem with your perspective is that it only sees things through your very hurt and wounded eyes.   The danger in reliving these experiences is that wounds are reopened to fester.  It's kind of like a scab just starting to form only to be ripped off to expose the wound.   It is absolutely imperative that you create separation between yourself and the scenario in question.  This includes separation from the people, places, and events that took place.  

 During my healing process I often felt the need to express the injustice of the situation to outside people.  I hoped I would gain their sympathy and prayer support.  Inadvertently, I would revisit the same painful experiences emotionally as I relived events with people who really didn’t need to know all the details and promptly forgot what I had shared with them.  The only person who suffered during these times was me.  I often walked away from such conversations emotionally drained. I could tell when I had relived the situation too closely- I couldn't think straight, I felt the pain of what had happened afresh, my physical energy evaporated, and I felt depressed.   I had to learn to distance myself from those places until my wounds could heal.  I did this by speaking in generalities and non-specific statements when pressed for information. I took personal retreats to quiet locations.  I only confided in people who were safe and really cared.  I didn't share all the details. I found new people and places that knew nothing of the situation to spend time around.   A good rule of thumb: Don't go back in your mind to replay what happened apart from the Lord's leadership.  

6)    Spend concerted time in Worship: This is probably one of the most important things that I learned during this time.  I found anointed worship music that inspired my soul.  I would then allow the Spirit to stir my heart to sing.  As simple as it may seem, one of the first things to disappear in the life of a wounded saint is their capacity to sing.  Think about your experience and I think you will discover that this is true.   Singing praises and worship is medicine to the soul. Once I felt my spirit inspired to sing I would turn off the music because I wanted it to be my personalized praise to the Lord.  

            As I opened my mouth and allowed truths to come out in the form song, it broke the mental bondage of what had transpired.  I was lifted from a place of replaying, rehearsing, and rehashing to a place of reverence, renewal, and rejuvenation.  Worship releases the presence and power of God to visit our hearts.  The danger in prayer during toxic seasons is that we make a BIG DEAL of what happened instead of a BIG DEAL of God's goodness and capacity to bring us through.  Praise and worship magnifies the BIGNESS of God to our wounded hearts and souls.  Without this very necessary paradigm shift, prayer can become nothing more than personal pain infliction as ponder the past.   David said it so well, “God inhabits the praises of His people.”  Start praising and you will soon find God’s presence.  I promise. 

 Another good idea is to find new and free resources that will refresh your soul.  For example, the International House of Prayer in Kansas City has a continual web-stream that is really good. Their archives contain incredible music from people like Misty Edwards, Jon Thurlow, and Jaye Thomas.  Carve out times for worship breaks.  I used to take 15 minutes and do nothing but sing worship songs.  Finally, watch out for the trap of feelings.  Singing is very closely associated with how we feel.  And you won't feel like it.  Do it anyway.  Praise God in the midst of your trouble, heart-ache, and brokenness and you will find His refreshing and healing power right around the corner.   

How to Survive a Toxic Ministry Situation (Part 2)

3)    Remember the character of God:  One of the primary issues you will have to face in any such season is the nature of God.  This is why the Word is so essential.  I remember battling the enemy’s lies.  He would play the “if God” game.  If God is good, then why did such and such happen… It’s a really slippery slope.   When we start doubting God’s goodness, we loose confidence in His character.  A lack of confidence in God quickly suffocates the spiritual life in our souls.  We become the classic James 1 people blown and tossed by the wind unable to get any kind of momentum in our walk with the Lord.  

Let it be forever etched in our hearts: “God is a good God and the devil is a bad devil.”  Don’t allow the master of illusion to deceive your soul into believing something that was forged in the fires of hell. He is a master at blaming God for what he concocted.  This isn’t an attempt to placate your pain and suffering with some kind of spiritual platitude.  Rather, this is a plea to run to God instead of away from God.  I've seen so many people in a toxic situation doubt God, then loose total confidence, then they blame God, and finally become bitter towards God.  The end result is that they run from the very One who can actually heal their wounded soul. It's a classic trap.   As previously stated, the Word is essential in this regard. It will be your continual reference point for evaluating the character of God.  God knows the way forward and wants to show you how to cooperate with His purposes for your life in this season. 

4)    Give yourself time: Illness doesn’t lay waste to someone’s body immediately. It is always preceded by a weakened immune system either from stress, infection, or physical exhaustion.  There is a time lag involved where the body weakens significantly before the illness reaches its full force.  Similarly with spiritual wounds.  The enemy will make it look like a certain wound developed instantaneously courtesy of someone else’s cutting words or piercing action.  This is never the full story.  

Such blows to our souls are never isolated.  There is always a deeper and more sinister strategy in place.  Satan works overtime to ensnare God’s people.  And often weaves a twisted web that we can't see until much further down the road.  All that to say,  wounds take time to heal.  You didn’t find yourself in the place where you are now overnight.  There was a progression of events.  Likewise, God will often use a progression of events to produce the necessary healing for our souls. He will deal with issues in our hearts and lives that seem unrelated to the pain in question.  Trust His leadership.  He is eradicating the various levels of the web so that our souls can be free again.   Time in His Presence and Word will heal all wounds.   Take small steps forward. Be patient with yourself and with Him.  

Part 3 continued tomorrow. 

How to survive a toxic ministry situation:

            Over the past couple of years I have walked closely with believers who have experienced the fallout from a toxic ministry situation.  It gets really ugly when people in spiritual authority misuse their God-given influence and power.

Sadly, Christians can be the devil’s greatest tools for destroying the credibility of the Gospel message. One of my mentors used to sarcastically quip: “Yep, feed ‘em to the Christians.”  A tongue and cheek remark from the gladiator days when Christians were fed to the lions.  Unfortunately, it seems many in ministry play the role of the lions only too well—devouring and destroying other believers. 

From personal experience and first-hand observation I can attest that there is nothing as messy nor as lethal as when Christians attack their own.  Several years ago I had to walk through my own Christian gladiator contest.  I was idealistic and full of enthusiasm for the cause of Christ.  No one prepared me for the lion’s den—manipulative, controlling, and deceitful people who masked their nastiness with God.  My experience left me wounded and reeling.  

Occupationally, I drafted my resignation letter.  Emotionally, I became critical and angry.  This soon turned into depression and withdrawal.  Spiritually, I questioned my foundations.  Worse, I didn’t even care.  I felt betrayed, abandoned, deceived, and disillusioned.  I thought my experience was an anomaly, taking place far from the safe boundaries of normal Christian ministry.  

Sadly, my assessment was wrong.  Toxic ministry is all too common in our day. When used by the enemy the actions of other Christians can have cataclysmic repercussions.   Who better to misrepresent and discredit the glorious name of Christ to a hurting and confused generation than those called by Christ’s very name?  

If it is true that  “hurt people hurt people”, then I would suggest, “spiritually hurt people hurt people spiritually.”  And spiritual wounds are some of the most difficult to heal.   Obviously, such things should never happen.  And I thank God for every minister and person in spiritual authority who has remained true to Christ and His call to lay down their lives for others. 

Nevertheless, the growing number of wandering wounded in this generation compels me to write.  I have witnessed far too many throw away their faith.  My heart aches.  So let me offer some suggestions for navigating the treachery of ministry toxicity. I also believe these principles can help anyone going through emotional and spiritual trauma.

1)    Trusted spiritual counsel—when a sheep is wounded the shepherd must painstakingly guide it back to the safety of the fold.  Sometimes the shepherd even has to carry the sheep on his shoulder.  The primary reason is because sheep become disoriented and confused when they are hurt.  Likewise, a wounded believer must stay close to someone who knows the Truth and is willing to walk with them during their time of disorientation. 

In my case, I turned to my parents—seasoned ministers who had successfully navigated similar troubles in times past.  Their counsel and support gave me the spiritual equilibrium I so desperately needed during that time.  Look for a “safe person” to walk with you during this season:  someone who is empathetic and seasoned in their walk.  This person must be trustworthy and willing to take steps with you on this twisted path.  I promise you they are out there! Ask God to connect you to the right person if you aren’t sure whom to trust.   

Finally, watch out for “false safe people”.  Unfortunately, there are opportunists out there who will exploit and manipulate our brokenness for their own purposes feigning to be a safe.  Back to back negative situations can be totally devastating so select carefully.    

2)    Stay in the Word: The promises of God are the only sure and reliable source of Truth during any season.  Particularly during a season of toxicity, you will need to know the nature and promises of God.  Without this, it is entirely possible to become skewed in your perspective of who you are, what you are called to do, who God is, and what He has promised to do.   Increase your time in the Word during this season.   Don't decrease.  You won't "feel" like it.  This is definitely not a time to rely on your feelings.  This is a time to rely on God's unshakable promises.  

     A good idea is to  find solid ministers of the Word to sit under who will build up and edify your soul—podcasts are a God-send for this kind of scenario.  I remember listening to Jim Bradford, John Lindell, and Jentzen Franklin often during my season.  They helped me receive and digest much needed spiritual sustenance.  Another good idea is to  study the Word for yourself, especially passage that deal with disappointment, confusion, etc..  A good place to go is to the Psalms.   I also highly encourage you to begin memorizing specific promises relevant to your situation.  Much of the scripture I memorized during my toxic season still runs through my heart and head often giving me much needed insight into God's character and His purposes for my life.  

To be continued tomorrow with principle 3 & 4.