Over the past couple of years I
have walked closely with believers who have experienced the fallout from a
toxic ministry situation. It gets
really ugly when people in spiritual authority misuse their God-given influence
and power.
Sadly, Christians can be the
devil’s greatest tools for destroying the credibility of the Gospel message.
One of my mentors used to sarcastically quip: “Yep, feed ‘em to the
Christians.” A tongue and cheek
remark from the gladiator days when Christians were fed to the lions. Unfortunately, it seems many in
ministry play the role of the lions only too well—devouring and destroying
other believers.
From personal experience and
first-hand observation I can attest that there is nothing as messy nor as
lethal as when Christians attack their own. Several years ago I had to walk through my own Christian
gladiator contest. I was
idealistic and full of enthusiasm for the cause of Christ. No one prepared me for the lion’s
den—manipulative, controlling, and deceitful people who masked their nastiness
with God. My experience left me
wounded and reeling.
Occupationally, I drafted my
resignation letter. Emotionally, I
became critical and angry. This
soon turned into depression and withdrawal. Spiritually, I questioned my foundations. Worse, I didn’t even care. I felt betrayed, abandoned, deceived,
and disillusioned. I thought my
experience was an anomaly, taking place far from the safe boundaries of normal
Christian ministry.
Sadly, my assessment was
wrong. Toxic ministry is all too
common in our day. When used by the enemy the actions of other Christians can
have cataclysmic repercussions.
Who better to misrepresent and discredit the glorious name of Christ to
a hurting and confused generation than those called by Christ’s very name?
If it is true that “hurt people hurt people”, then I would
suggest, “spiritually hurt people hurt people spiritually.” And spiritual wounds are some of the
most difficult to heal.
Obviously, such things should never happen. And I thank God for every minister and person in spiritual
authority who has remained true to Christ and His call to lay down their lives
for others.
Nevertheless, the growing number of
wandering wounded in this generation compels me to write. I have witnessed far too many throw
away their faith. My heart
aches. So let me offer some
suggestions for navigating the treachery of ministry toxicity. I also believe
these principles can help anyone going through emotional and spiritual trauma.
1)
Trusted spiritual counsel—when
a sheep is wounded the shepherd must painstakingly guide it back to the safety
of the fold. Sometimes the shepherd even has to carry the sheep on his shoulder. The primary reason is
because sheep become disoriented and confused when they are hurt. Likewise, a wounded believer must stay
close to someone who knows the Truth and is willing to walk with them during their time of disorientation.
In my case, I
turned to my parents—seasoned ministers who had successfully navigated similar
troubles in times past. Their
counsel and support gave me the spiritual equilibrium I so desperately needed
during that time. Look for a “safe
person” to walk with you during this season: someone who is empathetic and seasoned in their walk. This person must be trustworthy and
willing to take steps with you on this twisted path. I promise you they are out there! Ask God to connect you to
the right person if you aren’t sure whom to trust.
Finally, watch out for “false safe people”. Unfortunately, there are opportunists
out there who will exploit and manipulate our brokenness for their own purposes feigning to be a safe. Back to back negative situations can be totally devastating so select carefully.
2)
Stay in the Word: The
promises of God are the only sure and reliable source of Truth during any
season. Particularly during a
season of toxicity, you will need to know the nature and promises of God. Without this, it is entirely possible
to become skewed in your perspective of who you are, what you are called to do,
who God is, and what He has promised to do. Increase your time in the Word during this season. Don't decrease. You won't "feel" like it. This is definitely not a time to rely on your feelings. This is a time to rely on God's unshakable promises.
A good idea is to find solid ministers of the Word to sit under
who will build up and edify your soul—podcasts are a God-send for this kind of
scenario. I remember listening to Jim Bradford, John Lindell, and Jentzen Franklin often during my season. They helped me receive and digest much needed spiritual sustenance. Another good idea is to study the Word for yourself, especially passage that deal with disappointment, confusion, etc.. A good place to go is to the Psalms. I also highly encourage you to begin memorizing specific promises relevant to your situation. Much of the scripture I memorized during my toxic season still runs through my heart and head often giving me much needed insight into God's character and His purposes for my life.
To be continued tomorrow with principle 3 & 4.
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